Tips from a First Time Bridesmaid

Hello, Curves, Curls, & Coffee’ers.

This post comes to you this Thursday unofficially sponsored by Aussie Hairspray, Dunkin Donuts coffee, and Panera muffins. All top notch places that are 100% NOT sponsoring me but all played a HUGE effort in making this post possible.

But my dear friend Monica got married this past weekend!

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Congrats to Mrs. Penta (and I guess Chris, too!)

Monica was one of my first ‘peers’ to get married. I’ve had friends but they were mostly older cousins, family friends, and other people get married in my adult life. But they were always ‘big brother’ types. And even though most of them are only a few years older than me – it always FEELS like they are way older.

So it was AMAZING (and totally weird) to see Monica get married.

But, in that same light, this was also my first time being in a wedding party.

And, unfortunately, Kristen Wiig did NOT prepare me enough for the journey I was about to go on.

But as you know, I lovelovelove having my picture taken (because I am SO damn photogenic) and weddings are the perfect time to have my picture taken with my hair and make up done perfectly.

So I want to post some lessons I learned as a first time bridesmaid.

Now, my friend, the Bride, her MoH, her (now) husband, and family were so kind, generous, welcoming, helpful, and amazing. I don’t want you to think that any of these are on them! These are ALL on me for not knowing what the heck I was doing and learning the hard way.

I had so much fun. So many great memories, photos, and I was so lucky to get to stand by Monica’s side while she and Chris said, “I do.”

And a few of these lessons are lessons of a plus sized bridesmaid, because honestly, parts of that made a difference.

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1.) It is EXPENSIVE.

Budget. Budget. Budget. Budget. Make sure that you can afford it if you say you can!

I was very fortunate to have a wonderful friend and bride who helped where she could! But it still was a pretty good amount of money to be involved.

Don’t ever go into being a bridesmaid (or particularly Maid of Honor) without expecting to spend money. Between the dress, the alterations, shoes, travel, tolls, hotel rooms, food for travel, accessories (tights, shapewear, etc.), and gifts for the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding – it  can add up.

2.) Plan to be plus.

Both my bride and my MoH are very petite women at this ceremony. I was the only plus size one and I definitely felt that way throughout the course of the day.

Make sure you have jewelry extenders if you are all wearing matching jewelry (I finagled ones out of saftey pins and broken metal), make sure you bring your own pantyhose/spare bra/shapewear/etc. It can definitely make you feel like not part of the group when you can’t close the petite bracelets or there is a safety pin hanging on your necklace or you HAVE to wear a bra and it pokes out the back. Or even when we trying on dresses – asking for one with straps so I could wear a bra at all. So make sure you are ultra prepared to ‘be the fat one’.

Now, to be sure, no one there made me feel that way. I had a wonderful time with the other ‘maids! But it’s hard not to feel that way while you’re

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3.) You’re definitely going to start talking about YOUR wedding.

Preston and I definitely stood there and were talking about OUR flowers, OUR food, OUR pictures, venue, ceremony, etc. Whatever it was that we were looking at – we started discussing all of the things we would want for OUR wedding.

That was half of our conversation. We planned our wedding, took ideas of things we liked, things that weren’t for us, our admiration at a brief ceremony, and talked about it a lot.

Although Preston and I have VERY similar wedding tastes – it’s still fun to talk about!

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4.) Drink in MODERATION.

If any of these ladies (or even gents) are reading this – there were a couple of people throughout the course of the night in the bridal party that I saw just PUT DRINKS AWAY. And I’m standing here being sober sally. It’s just not classy to be ‘that’ bridesmaid or groomsmen that is SLOPPY by 5pm. (luckily, no one in this wedding was drunk or sloppy, but I’ve definitely been at weddings where people in the bridal party were DRUNK.)

We had a bottle of wine in the bridal suite and everyone sipped wine casually throughout the day and that was fine. THAT is moderation.Personally, I didn’t drink the entire day. But a glass or two of champagne, a few drinks, drinks during dinner.

I’m cool with all that. It’s just the falling down drunk that is not good. But there were drinks at the suite, in the limo, at the cocktail hour, at the dinner, particularly if open bar is a thing.

You should always strive, in life, to NOT be that guy.

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5.) You’ll do it.

Theoretically, the person that you have elected to stand beside as they create a lasting union with a life partner, is someone that you like and care for very much.

If they ask you to do something…just do it.

And I mean, WHATEVER it is. Just do it.

If it’s holding their dress up so that they can pee, if it’s holding their boobs up so you can nipple tape them, if it’s constantly moving their train so that it will ALWAYS photograph well, dealing with a drunk friend, running back to get the thing they forgot, super gluing a penny to your shoe, etc.

Just do it. It is their day and it’s awesome to have the honor to have them ask you to stand by their side.

This day is the ULTIMATE in friendship goals AF.

Here are just a few pics of MoH ‘just doing it’. Honestly, this MoH should do it as a profession. She was PERFECT.

*Funny story interruption*

So, there is apparently this weird tradition (that I had NEVER even heard of) where you glue a penny to your shoe? And it’s supposed to be for luck or something?

PAUSE WHILE I GOOGLE WHAT THE TRADITION MEANS:

According to the internet it comes from this phrase,

“The wedding tradition of placing a penny in the bride’s shoe was made popular with a Victorian rhyme – something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a sixpence in your shoe. Over the years, the term sixpence has been replaced with the term penny.”

Okay. So there we are in the story.

So, in the limo to the photo location, Monica (the bride) remembers this tradition and is sad that she didn’t do it. So, MoH whips out some super glue and a 2016 penny out and we decide to super glue it to the bottom of her shoes…

So this is my “I’ll do it” moment. I say that I will do it super quick. So I grab the penny, and is what is possibly a 20/20 moment for the rest of my life, I put the glue on the tails side of the penny so that I can quick squish it down while we are at a stop light.

So red light comes, we are in FULL gowns, hair, and make up, and I quick open the super glue, spread it on the penny, and JUST then…the limo starts to move and the penny starts to slide off the shoe (because I hadn’t flipped it over). So, to prevent it from falling on my dress or the floor or whatever – I snatch it out of mid-air….which is covered in super glue.

I quick flip it back on and glue in down.

Then I realize THAT MY FINGERS ARE SUPER GLUED TOGETHER.

Like, if you were just about to snap…my index, middle, and thumb all got glued together.

And not JUST glue. But freaking super glue.

And I’m trying to pull it apart but it’s ripping my skin apart. So MoH (also a medical professional) whips out nail polish remover and is trying to soak through the glue.

All of this while we’re in a moving limo. (also why the picture is blurry…it’s hard to get a steady picture in the car).

So, that was my silly moment of the day…was trying to super glue a penny to a shoe in a moving limo while I was in a full length gown.

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6.) Schedules are KEY.

Our MoH & Bride both are super Type A. They had spread sheets going of when everyone needed to be everywhere. And I mean…the Bride’s parents, the kids, the Groom’s parents, each individual bridesmaid and groomsmen. It was AMAZING.

And then we had further broken down lists of hair and make up schedules.

And it was just so organized that I did not feel like we had a lot of stress. We weren’t late or behind. The day was scheduled and organized sooooo well that it made the day pretty seamless.

You always need at least one or two Type A personalities in a bridal party or else nothing is going to happen. And this MoH was ON FLEEEEEEK. All the charts. All the organization.

7.) In the famous word’s of Simba’s crazy uncle, Scar:

BE PREPARED.

We needed a lot of things day of that we did not prepare for. We needed make up setter, safety pins, deodorant, super glue, tums and ibuprofen, pads and tampons, hairspray, hair ties, etc. MoH had us COVERED.

She had a bag that would put Mary Poppins to shame full of every supply that we could possibly need.

And we needed most everything in it at least one time. There’s 100 articles already written about the ‘day-of-just-in-case’ wedding bag.

I’m here to tell you as a first time Bridesmaid…it’s 100% true.

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8.) You’re going to EAT a lot.

Between the rehearsal dinner (which was salmon and a baked potato….yum) and then the bridal suite ‘getting ready’ area (which was loaded with pastries, coffee, and juice from Panera), the snacks in the limo (and MoH’s purse!) the cheese tray at the venue, the cocktail hour apps, the full wedding dinner, the cake, etc. There’s A LOT of food.

And I was fortunate – ALL of the food for this wedding was SO FREAKING GOOD. Oh my god. It was all amazing. But if you’re on a diet or have dietary restrictions or are vegan or have allergies – just be prepared that a lot of the weekend involved eating.

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9.) On that same subject…

Wear shapewear. Normally I’m super opposed to it. But you will be photographed from EVERY angle. And not every angle is flattering. And there’s so much food and drink that you’re likely to bloat a little bit. It’s just a happier time for all.

Honestly, I was SO happy with that decision.

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10.) Getting ready is half the fun.

So, make sure that there’s good tunes, coffee, and comfy clothes. We all came prepped to NOT take our shirts off over our hair, comfy leggings and jeans, in our glasses and unmade up. One of my fave pics from the day is all of us looking all done up….in our leggings and flannels.

I had an absolutely blast getting my make up done and my hair done.

So, make sure that you have some pinterest ideas for hair/makeup for the gals who are helping you!

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11.) Doing stuff in a bridesmaid dress is hard.

Self explanatory. Peeing was so freaking strenuous. And walking on the grass, sitting, eating, etc. It’s basically unavoidable.

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12.) It’s a really great experience.

It’s wonderful to get to stand by a best friend, to tear up with joy and with pride, to dance, laugh, cry, and look gorgeous!

It’s a great experience to have your hair and make up done. It’s awesome to get to look so beautiful for a day.

But mostly, it’s such a happy, loving, and important moment that you can’t picture being anywhere else than right at the bride’s side.

It just fills you with such love and happiness. Everyone should do it at least once.

So here’s the “end of blog” spiel!

Follow me on Instagram: @Abby_Hoy

If you want to follow my darling, Preston – you can click here!

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I also will be doing a ‘review’ of what you could do for a day in downtown Harrisburg.

Subscribe for updates! I did my fall fashion for some pumpkin spice fall looks! Be sure to lap it up, baby, with my Heathers Lookbook: How Very! Did you get a chance to see my travel blog? Be sure to check out my recent fashion posts that shows off my Dress-Pocalypse and my twelve tips for thrifting! I also posted my thoughts about aging and things I’ve learned in life.Check out my adorable post about Preston and I rocking some adorable famous couple inspired outfits! Check out my earlier post about your summer reading list,my top 10 plus size stores, or my thoughts about loving your body!

Comment for topics you would like to see me cover! Like to help my self esteem! What do you think so far? More fashion? More lifestyle? Do you like the mix?

Question of the Day: Do you have any must have tips/awesome stories for being a bridesmaid?

Check out mine & Preston’s amazon wishlist for our future home here! (and if you REALLY love us, send us some stuff!)

My next few blog ideas: Do you want to see my new house stock pile? Seasonal transition? Another haul? Maybe one about those ten pieces that make up a wardrobe. But I’m not sure. I want to know what you are interested in hearing about? My Top 10 Embarrassing Stories? 20 Facts from Your Blogger? A team up with another blogger? Haul? A show off of my Barbie lot? Want me to style you? Let me know!

Love all you wonderful ladies (and gents!) out there!

How Very,

Abby❤

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