This is going to be the realest real blog post of all time.
I have an awesome Mom. And since Mother’s day was on Sunday – I wanted to do a post to my mom because I think she could definitely use the cheering up and the appreciation.
First, I want to thank all of the other mother figures/maternal figures that I have had. I want to thank Shar, my Aunt Kathy who adored me more than life, my Godmother – Sharon, my step-grandmother Val, Mama Hauk – who continues to treat me as her second ‘Abby’ – even though her daughter, Abby, and I have been best friends for 10 years, Mama Schaeffer, Nancy, Denise, and Val. Thank you to all of you for helping me – in some way – become the woman I am today.
Also, a special mention of my dad’s mom that we affectionately called Cookie Grandma. I never got a chance to know Cookie Grandma because she passed when I was about two years old. But you helped raise my father to be the most selfless, honorable, caring, and wonderful man I have ever known and for that I will always be eternally grateful. RIP Cookie Grandma.
This past weekend (Saturday) was my grandmother’s memorial and two of my cousins spoke and I gave a speech. I was very proud of it. I knew my grandmother well and loved her very dearly so I hope that I honored her memory. I’m going to put a short poem that I found in my Grandma’s journal here. My grandmother kept several journals throughout her life and I poured through them to be able to offer her own insight to her family about losing two children and about having dementia as it developed and got worse. But in one of her journals was a copy of this poem simply credited to C.R. This is what I finished my memorial speech with and it touched me. So I’m going to post this below.
Celebrate the temporary.
Don’t wait until tomorrow.
Celebrate the simple things.
Enjoy the butterfly.
Embrace the snow.
Run with the ocean.
Delight in trees or a single flower.
Go barefoot in the wet grass.
Don’t wait until all the problems are solved
or all the bills are paid.
You will wait forever.
Eternity will come and go and you will still be waiting.
Live in the now with all the problems and its agonies
with its joy and its pain.
Celebrate your despair and your anger and your grief.
It means you’re alive.
Stop grieving the past.
It is temporary
Here and gone
So celebrate it while you can
Celebrate the temporary
I just wanted to share this poem with all of you. In case anyone needed to hear it. I did.
Mom, Thank you for raising me. And I’m great. But – in all actuality – here is a real life list of things you have done for me that I will always appreciate and be grateful for. I hope that since I couldn’t afford too much of a Mother’s Day gift that this list will be a nice replacement.
-Believe in me to always do my best. Whether it was academics, in a performance, as a writer or a blogger, or for a job. You always have believed in me. (and when I was being impractical, you usually let me know. Which I hate – but appreciate)
-You have come to every single one of my shows. From my biggest starring roles to a kids show about dinosaurs to four consecutive years of the Vagina Monologues.
-You have made me get off the east coast. So many people in their life never even leave their home state. And you wanted me to travel and to be inspired to travel. Some of my best memories are of you, Adam, and I traveling the country (34 states total, 9 countries, a zillion cities, small towns, and weird stops) and seeing how the rest of the country is. I saw the amber waves of grain, sideways lightening, a great lake, the biggest ball of twine, the Santa Monica pier, the Bat Cave, the St. Louis Arch, Vegas, and so many more. I got to have my feet in the Atlantic and the Pacific ocean in the same month. I am eternally grateful for those experiences.
-You have supported me in so many ways since I got laid off in September.
–You asked the questions (to doctors, salesmen, colleges, etc.) that I was too naive to know to ask in the first place.
-You came and picked me up at camp because I was homesick.
-You spent my entire first semester of college on the phone with me every night as I sobbed and cried because I was so unhappy.
-You have taught me the standards of a healthy, loving, and equal marriage that one day I hope to emulate with Preston.
-You made me quirky AF.
-Dealt with me between the ages of 12-16. That’s just amazing that any parent survives that phase.
-Taught me the power of good negotiation skills and how to get a good deal and be responsible with money.
-You made me awesome Halloween costumes.
-You reassure my inner hypochondriac that I am not dying.
-You elaborately painted (and re-painted later) my bedroom.
-You made me have an uncanny eye for design, color scheme, clean lines, and interior decorating. I have impeccable taste. (Adam does too.)
-Made me always see value in myself and my ability.
– You helped me pick out my first car (that wasn’t the hand-me-down station wagon).
-You have taught me the importance of ‘the family table.’
-You have always encouraged me to do my best. And if that meant a C in math class, at least I passed.
-You have always supported my writing. Creative or otherwise. Even when I was less than impressed with myself.
-You post all of my accomplishments on your Facebook…because my wins are your wins too. (Adam may hate it – but I don’t!)
-Even when I’m an adult – you still come over to my room when I’m sick and sit with me – even if it is three AM.
-You have gotten me out of more than one financial pickle.
-You gave me the travel bug and the excitement to always want more and to see more.
-You gave me baton twirling classes, swim team, Girl Scouts, theatre, Sunday School, chorus, acting classes, gymnastics, and dance classes as a child. I appreciate all of that (even if I only really stuck with one of them.)
-You gave me trust. I didn’t have to earn it. You gave it to me. And even then, I respected that. Which is why I was never trouble in school. I was scared to disappoint you.
-You howed me what it means to be a wife, mother, and daughter.
-You told me that it was okay to fail sometimes and the best you can do is pick up and keep going.
-You made me super weird. I also poke Preston and bother him. Sometimes I see you do the exact same things to Dad and I remember that at least I come by it honestly.
-You fought battles for me that I was not strong enough to fight myself.