So here it is.
2017. The big kahuna. And I could not be any freaking happier that 2016 has ended. Truthfully. It was kind of a sucky year. But the first five days of 2017 have so far proven to be good!
Keep it up, 2017!
And I had the most…surreal…drive to work today. Between the big flashing signs (that usually say Drive Safely or Road Work Ahead) blinking non-English letters that were sideways and looked like alien code and the eleven police officers I saw in a 20 mile commute and the seven unmarked, large, white buses that were all following each other and the caravan of approx. 6 mobile homes and their ‘caution’ car that follows them all parked on the side of the road and the gray cloudy morning. And then I was listening to a podcast the radio randomly switched on and everything was gray and hazy. There’s something weird going on today. For sure.
But here it is.
The long awaited story.
There will be *probably* no pictures in this story. It’s just going to be some reading and story telling. So, sorry fashion friends that just want to see some cute pictures – I’ll see you next week!
Now, just to be frank, I am VERY open about this story.
And this is going to be EXTENSIVE.
This is a story that I tell over drinks, at parties, even my mom knows about it. But I usually only tell it if it comes up or we’re all telling crazy stories of what we did to make money in college from writing papers for classmates to selling our plasma to lowkey prostitution (I only did two of the three. I’ll let you decide which two. Ha! Spoiler alert – it was writing papers and selling plasma.)
AND HUGE FREAKING DISCLAIMER – I totally did this before Orange is the New Black was even created, let alone the Felonious Spunk plot line in season three. So. There.
So let’s delve right in.
THIS IS A LONG STORY SO HUNKER IN.
*Let’s clear a few things up right away. I never had sex, sold sex, or participated in any type of prostitution or illegal activity. I never used my real name. I never used any personal information. I am not promoting that anyone else should do this. It was probably a really dumb idea and I’m lucky that it was okay. This was not a ‘sexual’ thing. This is not some slutty thing that I did. To me, this was basically a kinky Etsy shop. I could sell something personal to a buyer that they had the inability to create themselves. I read tons of articles about other women who had done it safely, was very cautious, and did research about the most effective and safe way to do this. I did it only for a short time, nearly 5 years ago. This is just a weird story and I’m giving you all the details. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, please stop reading now and I will see you next week.*
Now that my ‘Full Disclosure” is out of the way:
Pretty much since I started college I have lived fairly close to paycheck to paycheck. Not exactly or anything. My debit card only got declined once in my senior year because I’m usually pretty good at budgeting and my parents are unfailingly generous people.
But I had college jobs which were enough to keep me fed and in shampoo and gas money (and drinking money).
And this was even BEFORE I became a fashionista du jour. So like, zero percent of my money was eaten up by Modcloth or Torrid.
But I was in college. I had a job (that I loved) but it was 20 hours a week and paid minimum wage. I was making pennies. I had a job for summer too (that I liked). Also minimum wage. Also pennies.
So in the summer between sophomore and junior year in college – I sold my underwear on Craigslist.
That’s it. Story’s over.
Part 1: The Start
I, honestly, for the life of me cannot remember what made me decide to do it.
Some creep on a dating app offering me money for panties and me deciding to be an entrepreneur? Maybe.A billboard? Probs not. A bustle article? More likely.
But, I started by answering a guy. Just a random guy.
I went into the personals section, typed in some key words and phrases such as ‘buy panties’, ‘panties cash’, ‘used underwear’, ‘bbw panties’, etc. until I found some random ads of guys that were looking.
And listen, for all you people out there that just had a reaction to the BBW comment, first of all, I AM a big, beautiful, woman. Second, I cannot help that porn has made those letters weird. Third, if you’re some kind of specialty group (like BBW or pregnant or Latina or menstruating or whatever) – you can charge almost double.
I should NOT be giving away all my trade secrets. Well, you’ll see why in a few minutes.
But that’s how I started. I just started messaging men who wanted to buy underwear.
I would tell them that I was willing to sell, blonde, and in college. That perfect Co-Ed dream. If they asked for pictures (which about 90% did) – I would send them a picture OF the actual underwear without me in them. If they were really in it for the panties, that was enough.
It started with a VERY nice guy in New Hampshire. He came up in my local listings (and let’s remember that I live in PA) and I was like, okay, cool. But he ended up being in New Hampshire. So I mailed him a pair every two weeks like clock work for four months. He paid $50 a pair. He mailed me cash in an envelope.
Now, I’m sure you have an obvious question:
“HOW COULD YOU GIVE SOME PERVERT ON THE INTERNET YOUR PARENTS’ ADDRESS?”
First of all, perversion is mostly subjective.
Second of all, I paid something like $30 for a six month stint to a PO Box at the third closest post office to my house. Difficult to trace like that.
Now, this guy was the best of the best. He never asked for nude pictures, he always mailed me cash and never tried to stiff me, he wasn’t gross or creepy about what he was doing with my underwear when he received them. We actually grew to have a very nice e-mail friendship where we would talk about life and goals and he had a dog and would sometimes send me pictures. He had a good job. He was a really nice and polite guy. He ended up stopping with me because he got a girlfriend and didn’t think it was appropriate anymore and wished me luck on my goals.
Also, another question I’m sure you just had:
“HOW COULD YOU GIVE SOME PERVERT YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS THAT IS LINKED TO ALL YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA AND CAN EASILY BE TRACED?”
Again, perversion is subjective.
Second, obviously, I also had a fake e-mail address. I just created a new AIM account. Easy peasy. That way it wasn’t linked to anything and it was very difficult to trace back to me.
I had a few other internet, long distance, mail situations. Probably seven or eight over the few months. Only two of them were once and done. And I got stiffed twice. So there’s that.
But at the end of the day, I’m selling used underwear. It’s not illegal. Just a little icky.
Again, mostly all nice guys that did the mail. They would ask for a specific fabric once in a while. Possibly a pattern. Or to wear them for a specific amount of days.
Part 2: Taking it a bit further
Just for reference, for anyone reading this that is like, “Well just figured out how to pay rent this month.” – the standard amount of wearing a pair to sell is three days straight. That’s what most guys ask for. Some you can do less, some will pay for more. It’s pretty non-important.
And I’m saying guys and men…because in my experience that’s all I worked with. That’s not to say that there are not women or people who identify as ‘not a man’ that want to buy panties – but in my experience, they were ALL men.
I also sold underwear in person.
That was a tad trickier. I had a boyfriend at the time, who, yes, knew all about this and was very supportive. He would often come with me.
And I really am afraid of getting murdered (thanks Georgia & Karen. My Favorite Murder podcast. Check it out if you love True Crime!). So I took A LOT of precautions.
I ALWAYS took a buddy.
I ALWAYS insisted that we meet during the week, during the day, in a very public place (parking lot of Target/Starbucks/grocery store/etc.)
I ALWAYS let them know ahead of time that I would not be wearing them when we met but that they would be in an envelope. |
I ALWAYS archived their e-mails and usually left them open on my laptop, just in case.
I ALWAYS stood not right next to my car.
I ALWAYS was upfront that I was plus sized so no one got offended or surprised.
I ALWAYS did the exchange, said thank you, and left.
I ALWAYS made sure that they left first and I took a weird route and usually not to home.
I actually, only met a handful of them (like maybe three) in person before I got so nervous that I stuck to the internet/mail pretty exclusively.
*Actually funny story on that one. I usually drove to a church or something for a few minutes – in case they WERE following me, they would feel extra shitty and leave.*
I sold almost 40 pairs of underwear in four months. I charged between $30-$50 a pair.
People were also willing to spend between $25-$40 on socks, pantyhose, etc. Guys with food fetishes or nylon fetishes, mostly. Those were even easier.
Now, I’m sure you have yet another question:
“HOW DID YOU AFFORD SO MANY NEW PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR?”
So listen, let’s talk about this for a hot second.
*Kind of gross alert*
Cotton retains the most…uh, natural odor (?) better than silk or lace. So that cuts cost. And to buy a ten pack of plain cotton underwear at Walmart was approx. $7 a pack. Not exactly breaking the bank.
But true fact, most guys who do this request cotton.
In the same vain:
I had a guy ask if he could meet me at Barnes & Noble to watch me wear pantyhose and drink a cup of coffee. This was during the time of all the selling and whatnot.
He didn’t ask to sit near me. He didn’t talk to me. I didn’t even know his name.
I picked a book, took a buddy, slipped on some pantyhose, grabbed some coffee and sat for like an hour. He arrived after me and left before me. He didn’t try to talk to me or proposition me. He just gave me an envelope with cash, said thank you, and left. He was probably in his forties, or so?
Easiest $100 I ever made.
And I totally did it.
Part 2.5: Sex is (but shouldn’t be) a little uncomfortable to talk about.
And for all you judgmental people out there:
But, see, here’s the thing: Everyone is perverse in some way.
That’s just life. And I’m not a fan of the ‘don’t talk about sex’ culture that people (and often times women) are forced to live in.
I’m sure someone’s mom that is reading this post is freaking horrified. Or a very conservative friend is judging me A LOT.
You literally exist because sex is a thing. It’s part of being a human. It’s part of being alive. It’s part of the cycle of life.
And for the most part, as long as everyone is consenting, legal, and no one is getting hurt – do whatever you want. And I was consenting, legal, and not getting hurt. It was a win win for all involved. Who knows, I might think whatever you do at home is perverse?
Part 3: FAQ
At this point in the story – most people have a LOT of questions.
So I will try to hit as many of them as possible.
I had many different guys ask for a variety of different things.
Here’s a list of some examples of things I was asked for:
-‘Time of the month’ panties.
– Panties that I wore to the gym.
-Panties that had ‘personal stains’ in them.
-Socks that had been worn for a week.
-Underwear that I wore immediately after sex.
-Freshly cleaned underwear.
-Underwear that my boyfriend had ALSO worn.
The list can go on and can get creepier and grosser. But I never did any of the ‘extra stuff’. I think I did the gym panties once or twice.
But honestly, those were the ones that made me very uncomfortable. And an extra $30 wasn’t worth making myself feel gross and uncomfortable.
However, here’s the light side.
Let’s have a cost break down here:
Just selling, regular, worn underwear I made almost $1,500 over 4 months.
Yup. An extra $300 or so dollars a month. Now, let’s do some math. Some people only paid $30 while some paid $50. I got stiffed twice. I had to pay for new underwear and socks and the PO Box, etc.
Many of them were to repeat customers.
Not a bad haul for something I was ALREADY doing.
Yes, I only used Craigslist. Never social media, Reddit, or Back Page or anything.
The average age of the guy was 40.
Most were not creepy.
Yes, I was propositioned for sex. But I feel that I’ve been very clear about my stance on that. (it’s a definite ‘No’ and a definite ‘goodbye!’)
Yes, Preston knows about this.
No, he was not the boyfriend in the story.
Yes, my mom knows that I did this. (It took me a few years to tell her.)
Most were at least somewhat attractive.
Most were very polite, straightforward, and honest.
It is TOTALLY awkward when we met because we were both a little embarrassed.
No, I will not tell you my fake name.
Yes, there is a market for men to sell their underwear/socks/jock straps/gym shorts/etc. It is just much more niche and will usually require a third party website.
No, I don’t sell underwear anymore. Ever. Don’t ask.
Part 4: Why did you stop?
So let’s talk about this.
Why did I stop selling panties on Craigslist? It’s easy cash, right?
A few reasons.
1.) It is harder than you may think to find buyers.
I sold a little less than 50 or so pairs of underwear, socks, and pantyhose. Those all went to approx. 10 people. Most just bought several pairs or were returning customers. And they had to be willing to mail money, or meet up, or want a BBW person, or want a blonde, etc. They have to want what you’re selling. And that CAN be limiting in some ways.
2.) Most people you contact are NOT actually trying to buy your panties.
I read an article on Jezebel (linked here) about a woman named Gaby (maybe it’s a name thing) who did the same thing. She summed up the ratio of guys that would contact you perfectly:
“90%: looking for free butt pictures
5%: think they can trick you into coming to their house
3%: interested in trying to manipulate/ abuse/ harass you because they can’t believe that you are an actual human being
1%: actually interested in buying panties
1%: other (great deals on Viagra, foreign royals who need your credit card number, etc.)”
Many of the guys would say, “Yes, I want panties…with a side of blow job” and insist on ‘buying panties’ on the ruse that they would actually be buying a sexual act. And that wasn’t for me, man. I would NEVER do that. And it made me feel that they would and could hurt me. Or “I’ll pay extra if you’ll take them off in front of me.”. It made me wildly uncomfortable and it raised A HUGE red flag. If someone also asked me to perform a sexual act/come to their home/asked for more than one picture of panties or insisted that I be in them, I said “No way” and stopped answering.
3.) It’s a lot of work.
Unless you go through a third party site or are an excellent multi-tasker – you have to scan all these websites, arrange payment and delivery, go to the post office, buy new underwear, vet out creeps, try not to get murdered, etc. And it wasn’t really fun work. It felt a little degrading and gross.
4.) It started to take a toll on my self esteem…which is ultimately why I stopped.
I normally answered ads. I would not post my own for sale ads. And…one time, I did. I posted an ad on Craigslist for Blonde College Girl Panties for Sale. I got HUNDREDS of e-mails. Hundreds. Guys asking for sex acts, guys demanding sex acts, harrassing and bullying and disgusting and disturbing e-mails. I had guys asking to take me on dates. Guys wanting pictures of my butt. It was horrific. I cried as people sent me e-mail after e-mail calling me a slut and a whore and demanding sex.
And none of that was worth an extra $50 for me.
I deleted the ad only two days later.
And I stopped selling after that. I was back in school. It was hard to maintain. And it was no longer worth the money.
Part 5: The End
And that’s it, folks.
I don’t have a ton to wrap up with.
I wouldn’t recommend doing this at home. If you are going to, use a third party website that will protect you and your identity.
Be sure that you are ready to do it. Don’t decide on a whim (like me).
It was a weird time of my life. I have ZERO regrets about doing it, if not for the hilariously ridiculous party story it gives me to tell. (Probably not a work function story, but definitely a theatre story).
Please don’t send me mean things about this. I’ll probably have a panic attack. Because I’m a tad nervous posting it now.
So here’s the “end of blog” spiel!
I’m thinking of going to the thrift store this weekend. And as soon as LindyBop restocks, I’m going to grab a few things from them as well and review!
If you want to follow my darling, Preston – you can click here!
Follow me on Snapchat for a more ‘day to day’ look at mine & Preston’s life!: @abby_cadabra
I have my next few weeks of programs all planned out – I’ll be doing, NYE fashion, teaching, etc. Do you actually want to see a post about selling my underwear on Craigslist?
I’d really love to do that Barbie post. If anyone can seriously sponsor it – let me know. I think that would just be the coolest and most fun to do.
Subscribe for updates! I did my fall fashion for some pumpkin spice fall looks! Be sure to lap it up, baby, with my Heathers Lookbook: How Very! Did you get a chance to see my travel blog? Be sure to check out my recent fashion posts that shows off my Dress-Pocalypse and my twelve tips for thrifting!Check out my adorable post about Preston and I rocking some adorable famous couple inspired outfits! Check out my earlier post about your summer reading list,my top 10 plus size stores, or my thoughts about loving your body!
Comment for topics you would like to see me cover! Like to help my self esteem! What do you think so far? More fashion? More lifestyle? Do you like the mix?
My next few blog ideas: Do you want to see my new house stock pile? Seasonal transition? Another haul? Maybe one about those ten pieces that make up a wardrobe. But I’m not sure. I want to know what you are interested in hearing about? My Top 10 Embarrassing Stories? 20 Facts from Your Blogger? A team up with another blogger? Haul? A show off of my Barbie lot? Want me to style you? Let me know!
Love all you wonderful ladies (and gents!) out there!